Consider these label instructions printed on consumer goods.
On a Japanese food processor:
"Not to be used for the other use".
There are other uses?
On Nobby's peanuts:
"Warning: contains nuts."
Talk about a news flash!
On an American Airlines packet of nuts:
"Instructions: Open packet, eat nuts."
Step 3: maybe, uh...fly Delta?
The author doesn't blame the company, he blames the parents for this one:
On a child's Superman costume:
"Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly."
On a Myer hairdryer:
"Do not use while sleeping."
Darn, and that's the only time I have to work on my hair
On a bag of Chips:
"You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside."
The shoplifter special?
On package of a bar of Palmolive soap:
"Directions: Use like regular soap."
And that would be how???
On some frozen dinners:
"Serving suggestion: Defrost."
But, it's just a suggestion
On Nanna's Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom):
"Do not turn upside down."
Well...duh, a bit late, huh?
On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding:
"Product will be hot after heating."
And you thought???
On packaging for a K-Mart iron:
"Do not iron clothes on body."
But wouldn't this save me more time?
On Boot's Children Cough Medicine:
"Do not drive a car or operate machinery after taking this medication."
We could do a lot to reduce the rate of construction accidents if we could just get those 5 year olds with head colds off those forklifts.
On Nytol Sleep Aid:
"Warning: May cause drowsiness."
And...I'm taking this because???
On most brands of Christmas lights:
"For indoor or outdoor use only."
As opposed to...what?
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