Headlines of 2005


Crack Found on Governor's Daughter
    Imagine that!

Something Went Wrong in Jet Crash, Expert Says
    No, really?

Police Begin Campaign to Run Down Jaywalkers
    Now that's taking things a bit far!

Is There a Ring of Debris around Uranus?
    Not if I wipe thoroughly!

Panda Mating Fails; Veterinarian Takes Over
    What a guy!

Miners Refuse to Work after Death
    Lazy no-good-for-nothin' so-and-sos!

Juvenile Court to Try Shooting Defendant
    See if that works any better than a fair trial!

War Dims Hope for Peace
    I can see where it might have that effect!

If Strike Isn't Settled Quickly, It May Last Awhile
    You think?!

Cold Wave Linked to Temperatures
    Who would have thought!

Enfield (London) Couple Slain; Police Suspect Homicide
    They may be on to something!

Red Tape Holds Up New Bridges
    You mean there's something stronger than duct tape?!

Man Struck By Lightning: Faces Battery Charge
    He probably IS the battery charge!

New Study of Obesity Looks for Larger Test Group
    Weren't they fat enough?!

Astronaut Takes Blame for Gas in Spacecraft
    That's what he gets for eating those beans!

Kids Make Nutritious Snacks
    They taste like chicken?

Local High School Dropouts Cut in Half
    Chainsaw Massacre all over again!

Hospitals are Sued by 7 Foot Doctors
    Boy, are they tall!

Typhoon Rips Through Cemetery; Hundreds Dead
    You think?!

Back to jokes page
Back to home page