Product Labels

Consider these label instructions printed on consumer goods.

On a Japanese food processor:
"Not to be used for the other use".
    There are other uses?

On Nobby's peanuts:
"Warning: contains nuts."
    Talk about a news flash!

On an American Airlines packet of nuts:
"Instructions: Open packet, eat nuts."
    Step 3: maybe, Delta?

The author doesn't blame the company, he blames the parents for this one:

On a child's Superman costume:
"Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly."

On a Myer hairdryer:
"Do not use while sleeping."
    Darn, and that's the only time I have to work on my hair

On a bag of Chips:
"You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside."
    The shoplifter special?

On package of a bar of Palmolive soap:
"Directions: Use like regular soap."
    And that would be how???

On some frozen dinners:
"Serving suggestion: Defrost."
    But, it's just a suggestion

On Nanna's Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom):
"Do not turn upside down."
    Well...duh, a bit late, huh?

On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding:
"Product will be hot after heating."
    And you thought???

On packaging for a K-Mart iron:
"Do not iron clothes on body."
    But wouldn't this save me more time?

On Boot's Children Cough Medicine:
"Do not drive a car or operate machinery after taking this medication."
    We could do a lot to reduce the rate of construction accidents if we could just get those 5 year olds with head colds off those forklifts.

On Nytol Sleep Aid:
"Warning: May cause drowsiness."
    And...I'm taking this because???

On most brands of Christmas lights:
"For indoor or outdoor use only."
    As opposed to...what?

Back to jokes page
Back to home page